How "Crunchy" Parenting Evolved — and Inspired These Alternatives

Recently, the terms "crunchy mom," "silky mom," and "scrunchy mom" have popped up in parenting circles everywhere. The idea of "crunchy" parenting seems to have come first, and it essentially refers to parents who strive to use natural, holistic products. (Although more recently, it's gotten a lot more complicated. More on that later.) "Silky" parenting popped up in response, referring to parents who were the opposite of crunchy parents in every way. Then came "scrunchy" parenting, a kind of middle ground.

The truth of the matter is, most people fall somewhere into the vast middle ground of these different parenting styles. But it's important to consider that almost all parents hold the beliefs they do with the best of intentions, and that's because they want to protect their kids and help raise them into happy, kind, fulfilled adults.

Below, let's dig into what crunchy, silky, and scrunchy parenting really means — and whether the terms are as at odds as social media might have you believe.

What Is a Crunchy Mom?

Crunchy moms prefer practices and products that are as close to nature as possible. Crunchy parents might prioritize holistic, natural, and organic approaches when it comes to the food they feed their kids or the healthcare they choose, for example. But over the years, the term "crunchy mom" has gone from a relatively in-vogue parenting philosophy to one that's slung around as an insult.

On the lighter end of the spectrum, crunchy parents might be ridiculed for being exhausting or smug, for example. On TikTok, for instance, @areallyverycrunchy parodies crunchy parents as holier-than-thou types who look down on other parents who sleep train or are hypercritical about the ingredients in an organic snack. Her videos, which have been viewed more than 53 million times, are funny because they're based on the real beliefs of a crunchy mom — except often turned up to the extreme.

Crunchy parents can also have a reputation for being snobby and elitist, given that many of their philosophies — like eating only organic food — are available only to financially privileged people. They can also be seen as extreme, with views regarding food and healthcare that can, at times, border on dangerous, such as being critical of traditional medicine or even vaccines, giving the approach its current association with the Make America Healthy Again movement on the right.

But many parents who identify as crunchy parents don't necessarily hold extreme beliefs at all; they just think of the term as a way of summing up their natural-when-possible-is-best approach to life. Emily Morrow, the host of "The Really Very Crunchy" podcast, for example, is one such parent. In a 2022 BuzzFeed interview, she said she identifies as a crunchy parent with a few caveats. "The thing about my crunchiness is that I'm also pragmatic," she added. "I'm not going to make my kid eat a banana at a birthday party, but I am going to find the piece of cookie cake without red frosting."

What Is a Silky Mom?

As the "crunchy" moniker began gaining more backlash, the term "silky" sprung up in opposition. Silky parents are "modern" and "into using advances in science, medicine, and technology to aid her in her parenting," according to Urban Dictionary. They follow "the advice of established medical authority; often tend to be working moms who rely on modern products for convenience and time management."

In some ways, silky parents position themselves as stigma busters. In a world where there can often be extreme pressure to do things "right" — and where "right" is very narrowly defined — silky parents are the ones who are standing up to remind people that there's nothing wrong with doing what works for you and makes your life more convenient. That includes having medicated hospital births, using disposable diapers, sleep training, and bottle feeding.

This stance didn't arise in a vacuum, however. Even today, parents who don't breastfeed can be criticized and vaginal births are referred to as "natural births" (as if C-sections are somehow "unnatural"). And so, if crunchy parents exclusively use cloth diapers for their kids, silkies are proud to use disposables (and cheap ones at that). If crunchy parents brag about only giving their kids essential oils when they're sick, silky parents rattle the bottles of Tylenol and Motrin in their faces. If crunchy parents are ardently anti-screen time, silky parents happily park their kids in front of the iPad.

What Is a Scrunchy Mom?

Perhaps a natural outgrowth of the crunchy-silky debate was the rise of the scrunchy parent. These parents embrace the idea that they don't have to be all or nothing in parenting, and that there are some good things about crunchy and silky parenting philosophies.

Mom blogger Hilary Rose explained scrunchy parenting as a "balance." "We love nice wooden toys, but will for sure buy the fun, plastic, light-up ones as well," she shared on Instagram. "And while we like to mainly use glass bottles, it's necessary for us to have plastic ones as well for traveling or on the go. Whatever you feel like doing in your mama heart is best for your babe, whether full crunchy, silky, or scrunchy. All the love to the mamas out there today!"

Another mom on TikTok, who goes by @lovewyns, highlights the balance scrunchy moms strike. "Had an unmedicated labor at home. . . that ended in a C-section," she wrote in a TikTok video. "I breastfeed in public while drinking cocoa-cola," she added before reminding parents that parenting is all about finding a balance that works for your family. Generally, the "scrunchy mom" tends to take the type C approach to parenting.

Are Crunchy, Silky, and Scrunchy Parents Really At War?

While extremely crunchy and silky parents do exist, the truth is that most parents fall into that nebulous scrunchy territory, when it comes to the question of how "natural" they intend to be with their kids. So why does it sometimes feel as though the most extreme versions of each "type" of parent are being pitted against each other?

Having conversations and pointing fingers at who is "doing it right" has been happening since the beginning of time. It's been called the "mommy wars" or "combative mothering," which one research paper defines as "mothering ideology that normalizes constant competition between mothers, especially in terms of parenting philosophies, practices, and choices."

Of course, the nature of parenting means not everyone is going to see eye-to-eye on how to raise kids. It's also understandable that people passionate about their parenting beliefs will butt heads against each other from time to time, especially if they're on opposite ends of the parenting philosophy spectrum.

But arguing over the "right" way to parent and demonizing parents who do things "wrong" is often unproductive and downright harmful. While there are certain practices that are dangerous or even abusive, for the most part, parents are just trying to do right by their kids. And that's hard to criticize.

Devan McGuinness (she/they) is a Canadian disabled writer, editor, and social strategist who covers politics, entertainment, parenting, and lifestyle. Devan has contributed to PS, Fatherly, Parents, Scary Mommy, Mom.com, and more over her 10-plus years in digital media, specializing in stories that matter most to families.